Food

The next BIG thing in Milwaukee is the Harbor House -- Bartolotta's new cape cod themed restaurant taking over the space formally held by pieces of eight. Or was it piece of eight? I've heard it called pieces of shit... Besides the point. This place is a cash cow. I mean booked solid on monday nights, selling $100 bottles of wine, $55 entrees... mandatory valet parking. Milwaukee loves it. The problem is, IT SUCKS! I will tell you why.

Ok we'll start it off with some kind words because it can't be all bad. The ambiance and location is what sells this place. A ton of money was put into redecorating this location and I have to say, they did an awesome job. Besides the patio at roots, this restaurant has the best view in the city. Probably going to clean up on business diners who are trying to impress. The front desk staff was friendly and organized... it seemed like people enjoyed working there.

Now this is why it sucks. The wine list was way WAY overpriced. So we decided to get a cocktail instead. I understand nice restaurants are getting away with $13.50 martinis but at least fill the glass. I think they have a standard bar and a little server bar in the corner. The server bartender was pretty slow... 10 minutes to get drinks after ordering them. Service was just fine but kind of awkward. Apparently they work in teams but they don't bother to let you know that. They don't introduce themselves to the table. Our first server just kind of walked up to us and stood there as if we were supposed to initiate the conversation. Weird. Then she stumbles into the specials and pauses again... Just stands there. Forced me to say, "should we order drinks now?" Then the other server took care of clearing our plates and refilling water and all. We thought he was a busboy, so we never ordered another drink from him because we didn't think he had the ability. Just weird. nice but weird.

Now for the food. I started with something called the crustacean bisque. Thin, flavorless, over stretched... Something like 9 bucks a cup... maybe 8. Katie had a caesar salad. Good, can't really screw that one up. For dinner I did a Filet. Cooked to temperature perfectly. I'll give them that. Served with mashed potatoes and green beans. Seriously? This is the genius palate of the magnificent Bartolotta dynasty. I get mashed potatoes and green beans? Beans were undercooked, almost raw. Katie got some tuna special. That came with spinach that was cooked to absolute mush and tasted like horse stables. Seriously, you remember that smell of the corral at summer camp? That's what the spinach tasted like. Fish was good but seasoned with nothing but roasted garlic. Off pairing in my opinion. Got a massive pile of asparagus on there too. Skipped dessert, got the bill, $132.00. Damn it.

Milwaukee dining is becoming a corporate nightmare that is being supported by this cities retarded masses. We'll start it off with Bartolottas. Right now we have Lake Park Bistro, Mr. B's, Bacchus, some restaurante type thing, and now the harbor house. Oh, and they own the food stands up and down the lake front. I'm sure there's others I missed. Yet every time they open a restaurant they slap that Bartolotta name to it and this city shits their pants. Even random small restaurants are opening whose chef's descend from the mighty Bartollotas. I personally think they're over stretched to the point where they're starting to open restaurants that compete with themselves. People need to realize that just because they throw that name on there, they're not eating at their 4 start vegas palace. These places would be laughed out of Chicago.

This isn't the only restaurant group in milwaukee. We got RC Schmidt who owns such gems like water street brewery... on water street and in delafield, trinity three irish bar... an irish bar that plays beyonce over the stereo, Turner's... even though I heard he might of dumped that one, RC's... keeping our 19 year olds drunk for 20 years! I think he has some other crap holes smattered in there. The hi-hat guys. They got the hi hat, the garage, comet, I think some bayview thing, and now they're opening some taco spot in the space formally occupied by the good life. Even Zarletti is trying to get in on the action. I think he's rustico, Zarletti's, and stubby's... facts might be off on the rustico one. For his sake I hope he doesn't own that one, god does that suck.

My point here is the days of owner run and operated restaurants are dying and it's sad to watch. Support the smaller restaurants in this city. The food is better, the staff is happier, and the money goes to the right people.*

*the writer of this review is ungodly biased and bases all of his opinions on one single visit to each establishment.

Man did I start rambling there. I could take the time to make it look smarter but I need to go to the vintus wine tasting even we're hosting. Get to taste some crazy stuff. I'm so cultured and sophisticated!

GO PACK! We'll talk about them next week.