Food Network

The food network needs to have a new reality show - "The next producers of the next food network star." Anyone fans of The next food network star? There's a lot to like, it's like a 2 month iron chef battle with an emphasis on personality. The only problem is the contestants that they pick SUCK! They're so bad... and they know absolutely nothing about food. I swear to god I could that show with an epicurious iPhone ap and my inherent ability to tell people exactly what they want to hear. "When you take that first bite, it brings me back to my childhood... back along the shores of lake michigan, sitting on a patio nest to the grill, watching my family sing songs about the past... insert some stupid joke..." CUSHMAN LOVES IT! Then the people who actually win these contests come up with the worst shows. They air them all on Sundays at like 6:00 AM. Then they force them to come onto the next season and tell the contestants how this show changed their lives...

They did another iron chef type battle on this show. In the midst of it Alton Brown was drilling them on food questions, they didn't know the answers to any of it. I knew all of them. Where do they find these people. The person that won was a food blogger? What the hell is that? I think I'm gonna become one of those. Here's my first review.

Never ever eat at Molly Cools. Went there after a brewer game and they had some Sunday night special where it's a 19 dollar lobster dinner. We look at the lobster on the menu and it says it comes with your choice of two sides. So me and Portage Mike order the thing. Over cooked, but that's besides the point. We get the bill and we were charged 30 something for the lobsters. I question the server and he goes, oh that special is just for the lobster only. You guys ordered the sides... Seriously? You couldn't of mentioned anything as we were ordering this? Then he goes, "I'll go talk to my manager and see what we can do." He goes to the manager, comes back and was pretty much like, sorry, you guys are SOL. So I just laughed and took the extra charge out of his tip and left. I never ever short tip waiters but this had to be the exception to the rule. Oh and Katie got some fresh blackened fish of the day thing. The fish was cut into some perfect rectangle, more seasoned, not blackened... tasted like crap. Don't go to Molly Cool's. Other restaurant allegiances forced no biases on this review. You think I'll get a Pinky's like reaction to this?

Well there we have it, my career as a food blogger has begun. Hopefully now you'll see me winning the next season of the Next food network star. Rock on. Brewers suck. Go pack!

The brewers are so bad

I don't know if anyone had the stomach to finish watching that game last night but oh my god. They suck SO MUCH! Bush throws 4 consecutive homerun balls. His comment after the game was something like, "I don't mind throwing homerun balls, that's how I pitch! LOTSA STRIKES!" How do we have pitchers on this team that suck this much. Towards the end of the game, prince got drilled yet again. This time we tried to retaliate! YES! Something exciting in this 8-2 crap hole of a game! Drill him! Pitcher thows the ball behind the batter, benches are warned, situation over. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFART!

Oh and during all this, we are in the middle of a 4-2 game -- still in it. Bases are loaded after Bush gives up something like 13 walks. We bring in Coffey to face the pitcher, pitcher smokes a double off him and clears the bases. Coffey what you think about that? "I made my pitch, got to tip your hat to the hitter." That means your best pitch can't get a pitcher out in a pivotal game deciding situation. CUT THEM ALL! How does someone give up 4 homeruns in a row, and then walk 3 batters in a row? What do you have to do to get removed from a baseball game? Macha sucks, Melvin sucks, pitchers suck, brewers suck.

Please Packers, give me something to cheer for this year. Don't do one of those good regular seasons and lose in the first round of the playoffs either. That sucks. I hate sports.

Interesting conversation

Name the top skipped songs in rock and roll. What I mean by this is when you're playing a cd, what songs do you skip every time they come on?

I got a few to toss out there.

Red hot chili peppers californiacation album - porcelain. I don't think anyone has played that song all the way through.

There's territorial pissings on nirvana's nevermind.

And every song by papa roach.

Think of more.

Another thought... People who don't use straws at bars are stupid. That is all.

I got nothing to blog about

I mentioned this to Katie and she said I should tell you our cat likes yogurt. So our cat likes yogurt.

Got done with work early today

First time I got to get out early and we didn't go to conejitos. Sad night. We are going to make some tacos at home though and watch a ton of tv! Anyone watch true blood on hbo? If so I'll start talking about it. BEST SHOW EVER! So ridiculously corny yet horribly addicting. Like corn nuts. HA! You guys see how I used corny in two different ways there?

The cat pissed on our rug like 3 months ago, it still smells like cat piss. We put every cat piss removal spray ever created on it... still smells like piss. We're going to rent one of those carpet steamers from the grocery store and nail it with that. That has to cure it. It sucks because every morning the sun hits the cat piss spot just right. It just radiates. Gross.

Are mosquitoes absolutely horrible where you live? With all this rain it's been terrible. Oh yeah, I was thinking about going up to the Oconomowoc land with some friends and camping there at the end of this month... The whole thing is under water. There goes that thought. I bet the mosquito population there is on record levels.

Interesting thought... this is a blog, why won't anyone comment on my post. It's more fun for me that way. It's hard to just write a bunch of junk with zero response. Apparently people are reading this because my counter goes up. Say something. But don't say something just to say something. Or say nothing. I'll keep going. Good night for now.

New diagnosis, new car

Well just got a message this morning and found out I had E. Coli and H. Pylori. That equals food poisoning and ulcers. Let me tell you, that's not a fun combination. Lost 15 lbs. Things are turning up for me though. Just got to keep on some weird diet that I really don't want to do. Seems like I got a month of no conejitos, booze, or Real Chili. Wish me luck.

Got a new car, 2006 saturn vue. Katie and I are excited about it. The Camry was great and we still own it but it's falling on its last legs. I'd post a photo of it but I don't know how to do that stuff with macs. I'll see if Katie and figure it out when she gets up.

Oh my god, the Brett Favre story just got HILARIOUS! Things are going to get really bad for ole number 4 soon. DONGED! Is deadspin.com a reputable source or are they just pulling my leg?

Well now I have to start my most boring month ever with a carnation instant breakfast. Cheers!