Annual xmas list.

ok here it goes...

1) This is the only time of the year I buy clothes... mainly because people give me gift cards. Stores I am interested in include eddie bauer and kohls. But I would like to class things up a bit, maybe a brooks brothers one or something. For a hundred bucks I might be able to get a tie. Oh, and I like ties as gifts too.

2) Someone to explain to me why my health insurance went up $100 a month and I pay an extra $70 a month in property taxes than when I bought this place. I have a feeling this is just going to keep happening.

3) Right now I could really go for a cheeseburger.

4) Small wine rack that has a stain similar to my basement bar. Think it's called almond or something. I like good wine bottles too. Don't like that cheap stuff, I'm cultured god damn it.

5) A dead deer.

6) Actually to go back to the dead deer, I'd go for a new hunting coat... That or a gift card to gander mountain.

7) Sports tickets

8) I'd like to have that surround sound system back. I'd also like a couple of those real small vizio tvs from walmart that I could place on opposite sides of the bar in the basement. That way you could actually see the game if you were sitting at the bar. But shop at your own risk.

9) A trip to ireland would be nice.

10) Restaurant gift certificates. I'd love to try sanfords but I'm terrified of the cost.

11) We need a new fake xmas tree. Pretty sure the cats chewed threw the power cord. They like to do that, we're on phone charger number 4. Oh, we could use some iphone chargers.

12) Finally, a fat head of me eating a chili dog. This is doable.

All is well

Ignore that game. It was a joke. The bears still suck. They will finish the season below .500. Just total fluke of a loss. We'll bounce back next week with a scheduling gift -- Lions at home after a short week. Bears will blow it to the lowly giants next week. Anyone else think this loss is something to worry about?
I could sit here and complain about a few bad calls... I was screaming for the packers to just let the bears score at the end of the game. Why McCarthy blew that CRUCIAL timeout on that pointless challenge was beyond me. This is what the Bears do. Suck at football but win off of flukes. They'll accomplish nothing and in 10 weeks we won't even remember this weekend happened.
GO PACK!

Food

The next BIG thing in Milwaukee is the Harbor House -- Bartolotta's new cape cod themed restaurant taking over the space formally held by pieces of eight. Or was it piece of eight? I've heard it called pieces of shit... Besides the point. This place is a cash cow. I mean booked solid on monday nights, selling $100 bottles of wine, $55 entrees... mandatory valet parking. Milwaukee loves it. The problem is, IT SUCKS! I will tell you why.

Ok we'll start it off with some kind words because it can't be all bad. The ambiance and location is what sells this place. A ton of money was put into redecorating this location and I have to say, they did an awesome job. Besides the patio at roots, this restaurant has the best view in the city. Probably going to clean up on business diners who are trying to impress. The front desk staff was friendly and organized... it seemed like people enjoyed working there.

Now this is why it sucks. The wine list was way WAY overpriced. So we decided to get a cocktail instead. I understand nice restaurants are getting away with $13.50 martinis but at least fill the glass. I think they have a standard bar and a little server bar in the corner. The server bartender was pretty slow... 10 minutes to get drinks after ordering them. Service was just fine but kind of awkward. Apparently they work in teams but they don't bother to let you know that. They don't introduce themselves to the table. Our first server just kind of walked up to us and stood there as if we were supposed to initiate the conversation. Weird. Then she stumbles into the specials and pauses again... Just stands there. Forced me to say, "should we order drinks now?" Then the other server took care of clearing our plates and refilling water and all. We thought he was a busboy, so we never ordered another drink from him because we didn't think he had the ability. Just weird. nice but weird.

Now for the food. I started with something called the crustacean bisque. Thin, flavorless, over stretched... Something like 9 bucks a cup... maybe 8. Katie had a caesar salad. Good, can't really screw that one up. For dinner I did a Filet. Cooked to temperature perfectly. I'll give them that. Served with mashed potatoes and green beans. Seriously? This is the genius palate of the magnificent Bartolotta dynasty. I get mashed potatoes and green beans? Beans were undercooked, almost raw. Katie got some tuna special. That came with spinach that was cooked to absolute mush and tasted like horse stables. Seriously, you remember that smell of the corral at summer camp? That's what the spinach tasted like. Fish was good but seasoned with nothing but roasted garlic. Off pairing in my opinion. Got a massive pile of asparagus on there too. Skipped dessert, got the bill, $132.00. Damn it.

Milwaukee dining is becoming a corporate nightmare that is being supported by this cities retarded masses. We'll start it off with Bartolottas. Right now we have Lake Park Bistro, Mr. B's, Bacchus, some restaurante type thing, and now the harbor house. Oh, and they own the food stands up and down the lake front. I'm sure there's others I missed. Yet every time they open a restaurant they slap that Bartolotta name to it and this city shits their pants. Even random small restaurants are opening whose chef's descend from the mighty Bartollotas. I personally think they're over stretched to the point where they're starting to open restaurants that compete with themselves. People need to realize that just because they throw that name on there, they're not eating at their 4 start vegas palace. These places would be laughed out of Chicago.

This isn't the only restaurant group in milwaukee. We got RC Schmidt who owns such gems like water street brewery... on water street and in delafield, trinity three irish bar... an irish bar that plays beyonce over the stereo, Turner's... even though I heard he might of dumped that one, RC's... keeping our 19 year olds drunk for 20 years! I think he has some other crap holes smattered in there. The hi-hat guys. They got the hi hat, the garage, comet, I think some bayview thing, and now they're opening some taco spot in the space formally occupied by the good life. Even Zarletti is trying to get in on the action. I think he's rustico, Zarletti's, and stubby's... facts might be off on the rustico one. For his sake I hope he doesn't own that one, god does that suck.

My point here is the days of owner run and operated restaurants are dying and it's sad to watch. Support the smaller restaurants in this city. The food is better, the staff is happier, and the money goes to the right people.*

*the writer of this review is ungodly biased and bases all of his opinions on one single visit to each establishment.

Man did I start rambling there. I could take the time to make it look smarter but I need to go to the vintus wine tasting even we're hosting. Get to taste some crazy stuff. I'm so cultured and sophisticated!

GO PACK! We'll talk about them next week.

Packers!

Just watched Espn first take and they claimed because the packers aren't going to have Al Harris and Atari Bigby for the first 6 weeks, the Vikings are now going to win the division. I'm going to tell you why they are wrong.

1) Look at the schedule. The first six games are a joke. The only games that will provide the slightest of challenges are the Washington and Philly games. I'm not sold on either team. Otherwise we pay THE worst teams in the league. We have Chicago, Detroit, Miami, and Buffalo. If there are any games we can afford to play without a starting corner, those are them.

2) Bigby is no Morgan Burnett. I said earlier after watching this kid at practice... He is a beast. Packer fans will be very surprised by this kid's performance. It's weird to call these guys kids now but seriously, I'm like 8 years older than him. Don't like that.

3) Our offense can make up for defensive miscues. We can out score these guys in shootouts. Defense can give up 21 points, we still got this.

Stay away from the panic button espn. The packers will be just fine. Then we'll have a starting probowl CB returning to the defense mid season and we will dominate. First game after those 6? Minnesota Vikings. By that time Favre will be hurt and the Vikings will implode. I predict a terrible season for minnesota this year.

Now I'd like to apologize to everyone for ruining the Packers season this year and sending the Vikings to the superbowl. Anyone who has read any of my sports predictions on this site know I am always embarrassingly wrong. So again, I apologize. Hopefully the packers can overcome my ignorance.

GO PACK!

Food Network

The food network needs to have a new reality show - "The next producers of the next food network star." Anyone fans of The next food network star? There's a lot to like, it's like a 2 month iron chef battle with an emphasis on personality. The only problem is the contestants that they pick SUCK! They're so bad... and they know absolutely nothing about food. I swear to god I could that show with an epicurious iPhone ap and my inherent ability to tell people exactly what they want to hear. "When you take that first bite, it brings me back to my childhood... back along the shores of lake michigan, sitting on a patio nest to the grill, watching my family sing songs about the past... insert some stupid joke..." CUSHMAN LOVES IT! Then the people who actually win these contests come up with the worst shows. They air them all on Sundays at like 6:00 AM. Then they force them to come onto the next season and tell the contestants how this show changed their lives...

They did another iron chef type battle on this show. In the midst of it Alton Brown was drilling them on food questions, they didn't know the answers to any of it. I knew all of them. Where do they find these people. The person that won was a food blogger? What the hell is that? I think I'm gonna become one of those. Here's my first review.

Never ever eat at Molly Cools. Went there after a brewer game and they had some Sunday night special where it's a 19 dollar lobster dinner. We look at the lobster on the menu and it says it comes with your choice of two sides. So me and Portage Mike order the thing. Over cooked, but that's besides the point. We get the bill and we were charged 30 something for the lobsters. I question the server and he goes, oh that special is just for the lobster only. You guys ordered the sides... Seriously? You couldn't of mentioned anything as we were ordering this? Then he goes, "I'll go talk to my manager and see what we can do." He goes to the manager, comes back and was pretty much like, sorry, you guys are SOL. So I just laughed and took the extra charge out of his tip and left. I never ever short tip waiters but this had to be the exception to the rule. Oh and Katie got some fresh blackened fish of the day thing. The fish was cut into some perfect rectangle, more seasoned, not blackened... tasted like crap. Don't go to Molly Cool's. Other restaurant allegiances forced no biases on this review. You think I'll get a Pinky's like reaction to this?

Well there we have it, my career as a food blogger has begun. Hopefully now you'll see me winning the next season of the Next food network star. Rock on. Brewers suck. Go pack!

The brewers are so bad

I don't know if anyone had the stomach to finish watching that game last night but oh my god. They suck SO MUCH! Bush throws 4 consecutive homerun balls. His comment after the game was something like, "I don't mind throwing homerun balls, that's how I pitch! LOTSA STRIKES!" How do we have pitchers on this team that suck this much. Towards the end of the game, prince got drilled yet again. This time we tried to retaliate! YES! Something exciting in this 8-2 crap hole of a game! Drill him! Pitcher thows the ball behind the batter, benches are warned, situation over. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFART!

Oh and during all this, we are in the middle of a 4-2 game -- still in it. Bases are loaded after Bush gives up something like 13 walks. We bring in Coffey to face the pitcher, pitcher smokes a double off him and clears the bases. Coffey what you think about that? "I made my pitch, got to tip your hat to the hitter." That means your best pitch can't get a pitcher out in a pivotal game deciding situation. CUT THEM ALL! How does someone give up 4 homeruns in a row, and then walk 3 batters in a row? What do you have to do to get removed from a baseball game? Macha sucks, Melvin sucks, pitchers suck, brewers suck.

Please Packers, give me something to cheer for this year. Don't do one of those good regular seasons and lose in the first round of the playoffs either. That sucks. I hate sports.

Interesting conversation

Name the top skipped songs in rock and roll. What I mean by this is when you're playing a cd, what songs do you skip every time they come on?

I got a few to toss out there.

Red hot chili peppers californiacation album - porcelain. I don't think anyone has played that song all the way through.

There's territorial pissings on nirvana's nevermind.

And every song by papa roach.

Think of more.

Another thought... People who don't use straws at bars are stupid. That is all.

I got nothing to blog about

I mentioned this to Katie and she said I should tell you our cat likes yogurt. So our cat likes yogurt.

Got done with work early today

First time I got to get out early and we didn't go to conejitos. Sad night. We are going to make some tacos at home though and watch a ton of tv! Anyone watch true blood on hbo? If so I'll start talking about it. BEST SHOW EVER! So ridiculously corny yet horribly addicting. Like corn nuts. HA! You guys see how I used corny in two different ways there?

The cat pissed on our rug like 3 months ago, it still smells like cat piss. We put every cat piss removal spray ever created on it... still smells like piss. We're going to rent one of those carpet steamers from the grocery store and nail it with that. That has to cure it. It sucks because every morning the sun hits the cat piss spot just right. It just radiates. Gross.

Are mosquitoes absolutely horrible where you live? With all this rain it's been terrible. Oh yeah, I was thinking about going up to the Oconomowoc land with some friends and camping there at the end of this month... The whole thing is under water. There goes that thought. I bet the mosquito population there is on record levels.

Interesting thought... this is a blog, why won't anyone comment on my post. It's more fun for me that way. It's hard to just write a bunch of junk with zero response. Apparently people are reading this because my counter goes up. Say something. But don't say something just to say something. Or say nothing. I'll keep going. Good night for now.

New diagnosis, new car

Well just got a message this morning and found out I had E. Coli and H. Pylori. That equals food poisoning and ulcers. Let me tell you, that's not a fun combination. Lost 15 lbs. Things are turning up for me though. Just got to keep on some weird diet that I really don't want to do. Seems like I got a month of no conejitos, booze, or Real Chili. Wish me luck.

Got a new car, 2006 saturn vue. Katie and I are excited about it. The Camry was great and we still own it but it's falling on its last legs. I'd post a photo of it but I don't know how to do that stuff with macs. I'll see if Katie and figure it out when she gets up.

Oh my god, the Brett Favre story just got HILARIOUS! Things are going to get really bad for ole number 4 soon. DONGED! Is deadspin.com a reputable source or are they just pulling my leg?

Well now I have to start my most boring month ever with a carnation instant breakfast. Cheers!

I get food poisoning too often

Dealing with food poisoning yet again. It's the worst affliction ever and the third time I've dealt with this in 3 years. I do drop 10 lbs. every time this happens so I guess I should look at it as a great way to stay in shape.

Is it too early to talk football? How about some predictions? Don't take any of this to heart, I'm always... ALWAYS wrong. See my Brett Favre post at the beginning of camp last year.

1) The Packers are winning the division this year. We really hit our stride last year, minus that horrendous defensive collapse against Arizona. Oh man, remember that final interception for the touchdown? That was awful.

If I were to think of any weaknesses on this team I'd have to go with lack of depth on the corners. Offensive line doesn't seem dramatically improved. We signed that Bulaga guy today. From what I hear the guy won't be ready to seriously contribute until next year. Defensive line is pretty weak too. Hopefully the 3-4 scheme can continue to make up for that.

2) The Patriots are going to suck and it will be a beautiful thing to watch. Tom Brady will start to pout.

3) Not too afraid of the Cowboys team everyone's talking about. Seems like the same old story to me.

4) Ungh, back to the bathroom again.

5) I will win fantasy football this year. I have a brilliant strategy this year. As many packers as possible.

6) Higgins will post a detailed comment on this blog post.

In other news, went to the EAA show yesterday. That stunt plane stuff is pretty cool but I wouldn't pay 36 bucks to see it again. Hung around the camp sites. Bunch of tents and trailers with dusty roads. Kind of reminded me of a refugee camp. You got guys with 4 million dollar RVs next to some guy in a pup tent. Funny mix of people. I'd debate camping there next year but don't know if it'd be worth the cost. I'd rather camp somewhere that isn't a field in Oshkosh.

That's all I got for now. I'm gonna try to go to work. Wish me luck!

GOD DAMN IT!!!

You guys said it was a stupid idea. Now someone beat me to it.

www.chilililis.com

This pisses me off more than that time I came up with the Foreman grill with detatchable dishwasher safe plates. That was in the store two years later. I need to patent my slim jim and dorito dust idea now. I think there maybe some trademark issues there...

Tomorrow I'm going to watch airplanes with hicks. Katie did this in high school and is meeting a bunch of these people to go bowling or something? Not too excited. It's gonna be hot too. I hate it when it's hot.

Chili Lili's, I hope you suck.

Some quick brewer thoughts

They suck.

Brady St. festival is upon us...

There is one shift I dread every year. Brady St. days at Bosley on Brady. We're talking 10 hours of absolute chaos. Important to stay caffeinated on this one. But you got to pace it out. Instead of the large red bull I think I'm going to have to go with a couple small ones and consume in 3 hour increments. To put this thing into perspective, on an absolutely crazy saturday night we do around 6500 in sales. Last years festival put us over 10000. Screaming customers, overfilled cash drawers, singing drag queens... We take the bus to this one because there's absolutely no where to park.

But wait, rain? PLEASE STAY AROUND RAIN! RAIN HARD!!!!! Damn, 30% chance. Not looking like mother nature is gonna bail me out of this one. Here we go!

gross but genius product ideas

Some food marketing ideas...

1) Selling dorito dust. There's just not enough dust in a bag of doritos. You get five super loaded chips and the rest are just blah... You should be able to buy extra dorito dust, dump in in the bag and shake it up. Awesome. You could even do something crazy like mixing cool ranch dorito dust with sour cream. Same holds true for jalepeno krunchers. NEEDS MORE DUST!
2) Slim Jim beef rubs. Slim jims are delicious but you can't in your right mind sit there and eat 10 of them. But if you created a slim jim steak it'd be fantastic. Or slim jim chickens! My god, imagine this meal... A roasted slim jim chicken with nacho dorito dust infused mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus seasoned with a cool ranch butter. HA!
3) Anyone see Inception yet?

That's what I can think of for now, but I know I got more thoughts in my head. I'll keep you posted.

INCEPTION!

You have to see it, it is the best movie ever made. There is literally two straight hours of HOLY S*** style intensity. Mind blowing movie. That is all. Watch it and post your thoughts. Must see it in theaters.

HEAT! Real chili! Golf?

It is way too hot. Every day is over 80. Is that normal for Wisconsin? Can't we get one 75? I was all hardcore at the beginning of the summer. "Katie, we are never going to turn on this air conditioner." SAVE THE PLANET!... The air has been on non stop the past two weeks. I failed.

You ever leave the real chili onions out over night? Oh my god is that pungent. Why do they give you so many onions? No one could possibly eat that many. Give out less onions and more cheese real chili. Even if you throw them out they still make the kitchen reak.

They also have a t-shirt and bumper sticker out that says, "Real chili, preventing milwaukee's hangovers since 1970 something." I'd horribly disagree. I think it should read, "Real chili, adding diarrhea, heart burn, and onion breath to your already terrible hangover." Like I've said before, no alcohol is necessary. Real chili is one of the few foods capable of causing the food hangover. Yet I still find time to stop there once every two weeks. They have been keeping us stocked on napkins for a couple years.

I hate when ESPN covers something like golf or tennis. I wake up every day hoping to catch the barely watchable ESPN's first take. Then I got to see this British open. Who watches the first 2 rounds? Who cares? Nothing happens. Actually I bet I know who loves this. Every single McNamara. They go crazy over this sport. "So I got fitted for the new calaways last weekend!" "oh I've used those before, great clubs." "How's lefty doing!" "We should try to play this course." "If only I started playing in my 20s." Haha. That's my favorite one. If only I had those 10 extra years of experience... I'd be just as good as I am now.

Now don't get angry with me McNamaras. Just saying. Oh and why is St. Andrews supposed to be the most majestic beautiful course in golf? I know it's old and all but it looks pretty horrid. I am a fan of John Daly's pants though... Ok just saw an overhead shot of the course, that looked pretty cool.

That's all for now, hopefully more tomorrow.

I am doing this again

I've gotten complaints over my lack of blogging. Someone even threatened to remove this page from their favorites list. I will try to do this more often now.

I blame my absence on Katie. It is impossible for me to get at this computer because she is always busy creating the most amazing virtual farms/frontiers/sorority lifestyles. Her facebook gaming status is incredible. I'm pretty sure she has more virtual boyfriends, sheep, and barns than all of you.

So... you all are probably wondering what's going on in Dan's whirlwind life. Not too exciting. I wake up, accomplish little, go to work, accomplish little afterwards. Trying to break free of a second shift lifestyle but it's a rough economy and not so many people are hiring. I get paid pretty well at the restaurant. Katie and I were saving to buy a new car... even started looking at autotrader.com! Then it rained really hard last night and we had two major leaks in the house. What the hell am I supposed to do about that? Pretty sure it isn't supposed to rain in my living room. Whatever the problem is I'm sure it will cost a lot. The cats loved it though.

A couple restaurant ideas!

1) This one is gonna be a hit. Counter style service, maybe a couple side tables... Serving nothing but chili. But unlike real chili I'd go with 10 different varieties. Texas green chili, habenero hell fire, cincinnati style... you get the idea. I'd go with a chili pepper themed decor with the greatest hot sauce collection in the midwest. Maybe do some ungodly spicy one and make a challenge with it. Eat this thing and your photo's on the wall. Then I could get the man vs. food guy to stop buy. Only would have to staff 2 or 3 people, low overhead with a freezable inventory. Would you go there?

2) Ok, this one is much more of a gamble. Going with a Euro gastropub theme. Thinking von trier like decor. Wooden tables, food served on cutting board style plates with european family style whole game type meals. Think whole animals! Suckling pig, whole roasted chicken/pheasant, whole fish. Combine that with a killer beer list and one hell of a chef and KABOOM! Culinary masterpiece! Only problem is that Wisconsin diners are a bunch of meat and potato pansies who are terrified of trying anything different. Probably would have to offer walleye fries and brandy old fashions. Would you go there?

Well I don't want to record all my genius in one post. Got to have ammo for the next one. Hopefully I can fire some more thoughts out this week. Rock on!

Oh you like my new background? I think it makes me look like an indiana jones type person. I'd love to be an indiana jones type guy.

St. Paddy's day, beer, gay senators, and brewers

I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday yesterday. Katie and I had a good time. Started out at Halliday's right across from Zaffiro's. Sat out in their beer garden, it was almost too hot in the sun. Then we decided to move over to Paddy's but couldn't find a cab. The situation demanded we stop in Jamo's for a quick beer while we call a cab and wait. Then we made it over to paddy's, pounded a $10 corned beef sandwich. Then we walked on over to champion's and finished the night off at county clare. Good times were had and Katie and I actually called it an early night. Made some corned beef last night and I'm about to slice some of that up for lunch today. It was a good day.

In other news, I saw a couple interesting documentaries the other day. One was about the enormous amount of closeted gay politicians in Washington. These guys are so ashamed of themselves and so committed to the lies it's hilarious. It'd be awesome if I could remember what it was called so you could watch it yourself. Ok I looked it up, it's called "outrage." Check out www.blogactive.com if you are interested.

The other documentary I watched was about how the beer industry's success is a result of strict marketing and not consumer preference. They poured miller lite, coors light, and bud light into three unlabeled glasses and had people guess what they were drinking. They all failed. I tried it for myself the other night... failed, but Katie owned it. Pretty funny how everyone is selling the same crap beer but we all convince ourselves that we have various preferences.

They also had a little blip on how the big three -- bud, coors, miller, destroy any semblance of micro competition. DRINK MILLER!

Brewers? Not quite yet. I got to see what they do with their pitching situation first. Also, any sort of sports excitement expressed by me on this blog has been crushed with the worst possible outcomes. I'm seriously terrified to say anything. I apparently know absolutely nothing about sports. I am always wrong, on everything. So with that said, Brewers, 88 wins this year... Battling for the wild card.

a post!

Something really pisses me off. Oprah claimed on her show that it's not necessary to tip on wine in restaurants. Women everywhere are listening. I want someone to make an argument with me on this. Here's my thinking. Wine service is the most involved task that I'm required to do with a table. Going from recommending a bottle, presentation, and constant filling of the glasses. Anyone can put a plate of food in front of someone.

Let me tell you how this business works. The servers are required to claim a percentage of their sales as their income tax. If they sell a $1200 bottle of wine, they're being taxed on it. So you're not only shorting them on the tip, but you're making them claim a larger uncompensated income tax. Servers are also required to tip the bar based on their bar sales at the end of the night, you're screwed out of that percentage as well. Oprah, #%$^ you!

On a lighter note, Katie and I returned from our work trip to California. Learned a lot. Kind of think Napa Valley is boring and repetitive. Nothing but the same big cab by every vintner. Then they all have their cute little bordeaux blends. Personally I thought they all tasted the same. The fun vineyards are found on the side road appellations. I recommend everyone check out Howell Mountain on the northwest outskirts of Napa County.

Sonoma had the best stuff. Much more laid back, less corporate. What a lot of people don't get is that these wine makers are nothing but very successful farmers. Half the tastings were done in some barn in the middle of a farm. We came home with some fantastic stuff.

I'll talk about the brewers tomorrow, I got to shower and get ready for work early now so I can watch as much as this spring training game as possible. Rock on!