How not to dine out

There are certain things that certain people do while dining out that really anger me. I am going to tell you them... if you are guilty of any of these behaviors well... you suck.

1) Don't ever ask to be seated, then order a drink, then tell me -- "We'd just like to enjoy our cocktails for a minute before ordering." I HATE THIS! It ruins things on so many levels.
First off, how long would you like to enjoy this cocktail? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? an hour? I have no idea. I guess I have no choice but to come up to your table 15 times and ask if you're ready to order. Then when you decide to order guess what... I just got sat another three tables. I'm not getting to you for 15 minutes. Deal with it. Also, see those people standing by the door waiting for a table? Don't mind them. Sit. Enjoy your cocktail.
Most restaurants have places called bars. This is the perfect setting for you and your little drink. Sit there for 30 minutes before bothering me.

2) Don't ask me where the fish is from and act like you care. "Is your grouper fresh? really? where's it from?" Come on lady, it's fish. Will you still order this no matter what I tell you? To be honest, I have no idea where fish is from. I entertain myself by naming random countries and watching their reactions. Salmon is from norway huh? oh they got great salmon! Actually you just ate some farm raised crap from Arkansas. Still tasted like salmon didn't it. I used to get this one at the summertime a lot. I once told someone we got our grouper from North Korea. It didn't strike them as odd. Apparently we trade with North Korea now.

3) If I'm going to take your order, I may have to interrupt you. Countless times I've walked up to tables while they're talking about something or other. Where I work they're ALWAYS talking Obama and Clinton. Every table I go to, that is the conversation... ok anyways, stop talking when I get there. I can't stand walking up to a table and trying to talk while no one acts like I exist. Sometimes I get the, "excuse me, can't you see that we're talking here?" What am I supposed to do? Walk around the restaurant for 10 minutes, staring at your table, looking for that 1/2 second window where your conversation ends? We got a little social contract here. I walk up, you stop talking, you listen to what I have to say, you tell me what you want to eat, then you continue talking. I am not waiting on you according to your time line. You eat according to mine. End of story.

4) If the restaurant closes at 10:00. Don't sit down to eat at 10:00. I was two minutes away from going home and now I got to sit here for another hour and half. Oh and if you're the last table in the restaurant. Don't sit and enjoy your coffee and conversation for 2 hours. There are 5 people in this restaurant who absolutely hate you right now. How can you not feel awkward sitting in an empty restaurant, 2 hours after closing, and watching the staff just sitting in a corner staring at you and waiting for your disrespectful ass to get out? Very rude.

5) There are 5 ways to order a steak. Rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, well. Use these words, they're there for your convenience. Don't say this -- "I'd like just a little pink in in the center but not red and don't cook it through." And by the way, if you ever order a steak above medium, expect to delay your entire table from enjoying dinner. Plus, it will taste like leather. Don't eat steak if you can't have pink in it. Everyone will tell you it is wrong.

6) If the restaurant doesn't offer you something that you want, it's not my fault. I mainly deal with this one with the cappucino and espresso people. We don't have one of those machines where I work. I can't stand it when people look at me like I'm a retard when I tell them we don't do that. Sorry. Nothing I can do for you at this point. Even if we did have one of those machines, it is such a pain to hear that ordered, then take 10 minutes of my time to froth some skim milk for your low fat latte, and get way behind on my schedule for the rest of my tables.

7) Read the menu, it's there for one reason only. Don't ask me what dressing comes on a salad or what sides come with your fish. It's all written down on that little booklet you're holding... Use it.

I could go on forever with this one but I'm just gonna stop now. I'm getting too angry. If you're guilty of any of these things please stop. You're being a jerk. That's it for now. GO BREWERS!

This explains everything...

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=763767

Apparently Prince owes a ton of money to the IRS. This explains everything...

1) Prince switched to his vegetarian diet not by choice, but by necessity. In troubling times like these the easy mac and ramen diet is the only solution.

2) Prince absolutely despises his gambling addict father... I wonder why?

3) Prince whined about how much he was getting paid this year and then goes ahead and turns down a $60 million offer. Actually this one can't be explained. He could of used some of that. They also said Hart turned down an offer. That is sad news. Are we destined to lose all these guys except Braun?

More Brewers stuff. Brewers just won two, cubs just lost two. Things are looking "OK." We still need to go on a tear. We got Dave Bush going tonight. That's not so good. Ryan Braun is starting to really turn it on. If he continues this he may toss his name into the MVP discussion. Especially if he can help put these guys into the playoffs. How about Russ Branyan. The guy has something like 18 hits and 9 HRS. Half the time he hits one it's out of the park. Not just out of the park... just absolutely smashed out of there. He's been hitting with incredible power all year although half of the time he was in the minors. I know he can get hit by the strike out bug every now and then but right now he's fun to watch... right Bill Hall? As for everyone who says Yost should be fired I ask you who is going to replace him. Yost made a great decision last night by pulling Mota in the 9th and allowing Torres to get the two inning save. No one is going to comment on this. Last year he really freaked out as the season was coming to a close but there is nothing wrong with his managing style this year. Look at the pitchers he has to work with.

Ok, now wedding stuff. INVITATIONS ARE OUT! Photographer is booked... or will be at 2:00 this afternoon. We're in contact with the DJ we think we're gonna choose. This weekend we're hoping to head to door county and get this cake thing figured out. After that it's time to focus on the little things... and there are a lot of little things. Send me those RSVP cards. If you're in the wedding party Katie and I would like to organize some sort of bbq/or maybe even tailgate where we could all hang out. I'll keep you posted. Go BREWERS!

Inventions!

Ever since I came up for the idea for the detatchable plates foreman grill before it was actually built I figured I would post my most recent invention ideas so I can have documented proof that says I thought of that first.

1) A dual climate control bed. I'd call it the heat number bed. See Katie sleeps with it all warm but I can't stand being hot when i sleep. This dilemma results in many fan-speed related arguments. If someone could come up with a thermostat controlled bed spread they could make millions. I know there are electric blankets out there but those don't solve my problem. I need a cooling blanket. Actually half of a cooling blanket. I'd be amazed if someone didn't already try to build this thing.

2) The double screw top nalgene bottle. Anyone familiar with these know that there are two types of lids for these things. One is a big lid, that makes it easy for cleaning and pouring, yet difficult for drinking. The second is a small water bottle like top that makes it easy to drink but hard to pour. So if they could make a lid that screws off on the bottom, yet attatch the small drinking lid on top... You have the perfect waterbottle.

3) Carbonated milk... actually I didn't come up with this one but Daly and Suesskind are still working out the kinks of this tasty beverage.

4) Some sort of weather prediction machine that through radio waves could read wind speeds, temperatures, and precipitation levels. I would call this machine the doplar radar.

5) This final one isn't really an invention... just an amazing idea. You know those machines in the drive-thru bank tellers. The vaccum tube thing. Well I want a series of those things to be spread throughout my house on some incredible remote controlled computer network. I could have one go from my refrigerator to my recliner... then from the recliner to the garbage can. Oh man, maybe I could even network the microwave into this. The possibilities are endless.

So those are my inventions. Let me know if you can build any of that for me.

Ok, that was the loudest thunder I have ever heard in my life. These storms are crazy. We got these two radio towers down the road that just get blasted by lightening left and right.

LA fitness

Ben and I have been good so far with the whole workout thing. The past two days I had a lot of trouble straightening my arms. It was actually impossible to do on wednesday but today we got some movement back. Can't really do the stuff I was able to do back in the day. I've never been more sore in my life. Hopefully the next week will be better. I like to start off by setting the elyptical machine at 30 minutes. Then I usually get off when it reaches 20. Then we try to lift weights. That starts to hurt, then we go home. Things should be better next week.
I just farted and katie is in the room. She hasn't said anything yet. It's pretty bad.
Brewers are looking good but the true test will be this upcoming road trip. Lets extend that win streak! Read up on their draft... I like this catcher prospect we picked up with the first pick. Well I guess I don't really know anything about the guy... but I'm told I should like this catcher prospect. So that's good news.
Shoot, Katie just noticed I farted and yelled at me and left the room.
Well time to workout and then go to work. We changed some things on out menu at work and now we actually have to take a test on it. Pretty stupid.

Brewers?! RIBS!

Brewers are on a hot streak. Bats might be coming alive... Yet everytime I say something like this we go and lose 5 games. So we'll let this one ride a little bit. Then we'll discuss more brewers.
Today is gonna be the first day I've gone to a gym in probably 2... maybe 3 years. I am going to be sore. I'm wondering if I got to do any aerobic type stuff because I do work on my feet for 7 hours a night... but I'm still getting fatter so I guess I should give it a shot. They do have TVs and ESPN on the little machines so it can't be that bad.
Katie and I went to my dad and Jean's place for some ribs last night. It was good to eat something other then frozen pizzas for a change. The ribs were good as always... got to bring some home. After eating we watched some tv show about tv show bloopers. It was pretty much a bunch of clips of people farting and falling while on the air. There's nothing funnier than that.
Well I got to get going. I just wrote our rent check out but didn't put the cash in the bank yet. I should get on that. GO BREWERS!