New hobby of mine

I like to look at random celebrities and make assumptions about their private lives. I'm gonna start with Jim Nantz.

Jim Nantz loves wine. If you ask Jim where his favorite place to visit is he's going to say Bordeaux, France... but Jim is lying. He prefers Napa Valley. He gets a kick out of the fact that when he visits, the wine makers go up to him and say, "hey Jim, this new pinot has you written all over it." Jim sits down, swirls a glass, closes his eyes, and says, "perfection." Then he orders three cases to be shipped to his cabin in Vermont.
When Jim covers the British open he tours the scotch distillaries of Scotland. He's had many conversations about how people over pay on Johnny Walker blue when a Leguvin 18 is just as good if not better. He pretends to enjoy scotch neat but he secretly feels like gagging after every sip.
Jim doesn't get a lot of vacation time. He's devoted to his craft... but when he does get time off he loves sitting in his Vermont cabin by the fireplace, that is always stocked with fresh firewood... not cut by him. He opens a bottle of cabernet and reads classic novels. Jim thinks Moby Dick is the best book of all time. He tries to dabble in poetry but just can't quite get into it. Before bed he thinks, it's a great time to be alive and it's great being Jim Nantz.

Annual xmas list.

ok here it goes...

1) This is the only time of the year I buy clothes... mainly because people give me gift cards. Stores I am interested in include eddie bauer and kohls. But I would like to class things up a bit, maybe a brooks brothers one or something. For a hundred bucks I might be able to get a tie. Oh, and I like ties as gifts too.

2) Someone to explain to me why my health insurance went up $100 a month and I pay an extra $70 a month in property taxes than when I bought this place. I have a feeling this is just going to keep happening.

3) Right now I could really go for a cheeseburger.

4) Small wine rack that has a stain similar to my basement bar. Think it's called almond or something. I like good wine bottles too. Don't like that cheap stuff, I'm cultured god damn it.

5) A dead deer.

6) Actually to go back to the dead deer, I'd go for a new hunting coat... That or a gift card to gander mountain.

7) Sports tickets

8) I'd like to have that surround sound system back. I'd also like a couple of those real small vizio tvs from walmart that I could place on opposite sides of the bar in the basement. That way you could actually see the game if you were sitting at the bar. But shop at your own risk.

9) A trip to ireland would be nice.

10) Restaurant gift certificates. I'd love to try sanfords but I'm terrified of the cost.

11) We need a new fake xmas tree. Pretty sure the cats chewed threw the power cord. They like to do that, we're on phone charger number 4. Oh, we could use some iphone chargers.

12) Finally, a fat head of me eating a chili dog. This is doable.

All is well

Ignore that game. It was a joke. The bears still suck. They will finish the season below .500. Just total fluke of a loss. We'll bounce back next week with a scheduling gift -- Lions at home after a short week. Bears will blow it to the lowly giants next week. Anyone else think this loss is something to worry about?
I could sit here and complain about a few bad calls... I was screaming for the packers to just let the bears score at the end of the game. Why McCarthy blew that CRUCIAL timeout on that pointless challenge was beyond me. This is what the Bears do. Suck at football but win off of flukes. They'll accomplish nothing and in 10 weeks we won't even remember this weekend happened.
GO PACK!

Food

The next BIG thing in Milwaukee is the Harbor House -- Bartolotta's new cape cod themed restaurant taking over the space formally held by pieces of eight. Or was it piece of eight? I've heard it called pieces of shit... Besides the point. This place is a cash cow. I mean booked solid on monday nights, selling $100 bottles of wine, $55 entrees... mandatory valet parking. Milwaukee loves it. The problem is, IT SUCKS! I will tell you why.

Ok we'll start it off with some kind words because it can't be all bad. The ambiance and location is what sells this place. A ton of money was put into redecorating this location and I have to say, they did an awesome job. Besides the patio at roots, this restaurant has the best view in the city. Probably going to clean up on business diners who are trying to impress. The front desk staff was friendly and organized... it seemed like people enjoyed working there.

Now this is why it sucks. The wine list was way WAY overpriced. So we decided to get a cocktail instead. I understand nice restaurants are getting away with $13.50 martinis but at least fill the glass. I think they have a standard bar and a little server bar in the corner. The server bartender was pretty slow... 10 minutes to get drinks after ordering them. Service was just fine but kind of awkward. Apparently they work in teams but they don't bother to let you know that. They don't introduce themselves to the table. Our first server just kind of walked up to us and stood there as if we were supposed to initiate the conversation. Weird. Then she stumbles into the specials and pauses again... Just stands there. Forced me to say, "should we order drinks now?" Then the other server took care of clearing our plates and refilling water and all. We thought he was a busboy, so we never ordered another drink from him because we didn't think he had the ability. Just weird. nice but weird.

Now for the food. I started with something called the crustacean bisque. Thin, flavorless, over stretched... Something like 9 bucks a cup... maybe 8. Katie had a caesar salad. Good, can't really screw that one up. For dinner I did a Filet. Cooked to temperature perfectly. I'll give them that. Served with mashed potatoes and green beans. Seriously? This is the genius palate of the magnificent Bartolotta dynasty. I get mashed potatoes and green beans? Beans were undercooked, almost raw. Katie got some tuna special. That came with spinach that was cooked to absolute mush and tasted like horse stables. Seriously, you remember that smell of the corral at summer camp? That's what the spinach tasted like. Fish was good but seasoned with nothing but roasted garlic. Off pairing in my opinion. Got a massive pile of asparagus on there too. Skipped dessert, got the bill, $132.00. Damn it.

Milwaukee dining is becoming a corporate nightmare that is being supported by this cities retarded masses. We'll start it off with Bartolottas. Right now we have Lake Park Bistro, Mr. B's, Bacchus, some restaurante type thing, and now the harbor house. Oh, and they own the food stands up and down the lake front. I'm sure there's others I missed. Yet every time they open a restaurant they slap that Bartolotta name to it and this city shits their pants. Even random small restaurants are opening whose chef's descend from the mighty Bartollotas. I personally think they're over stretched to the point where they're starting to open restaurants that compete with themselves. People need to realize that just because they throw that name on there, they're not eating at their 4 start vegas palace. These places would be laughed out of Chicago.

This isn't the only restaurant group in milwaukee. We got RC Schmidt who owns such gems like water street brewery... on water street and in delafield, trinity three irish bar... an irish bar that plays beyonce over the stereo, Turner's... even though I heard he might of dumped that one, RC's... keeping our 19 year olds drunk for 20 years! I think he has some other crap holes smattered in there. The hi-hat guys. They got the hi hat, the garage, comet, I think some bayview thing, and now they're opening some taco spot in the space formally occupied by the good life. Even Zarletti is trying to get in on the action. I think he's rustico, Zarletti's, and stubby's... facts might be off on the rustico one. For his sake I hope he doesn't own that one, god does that suck.

My point here is the days of owner run and operated restaurants are dying and it's sad to watch. Support the smaller restaurants in this city. The food is better, the staff is happier, and the money goes to the right people.*

*the writer of this review is ungodly biased and bases all of his opinions on one single visit to each establishment.

Man did I start rambling there. I could take the time to make it look smarter but I need to go to the vintus wine tasting even we're hosting. Get to taste some crazy stuff. I'm so cultured and sophisticated!

GO PACK! We'll talk about them next week.

Packers!

Just watched Espn first take and they claimed because the packers aren't going to have Al Harris and Atari Bigby for the first 6 weeks, the Vikings are now going to win the division. I'm going to tell you why they are wrong.

1) Look at the schedule. The first six games are a joke. The only games that will provide the slightest of challenges are the Washington and Philly games. I'm not sold on either team. Otherwise we pay THE worst teams in the league. We have Chicago, Detroit, Miami, and Buffalo. If there are any games we can afford to play without a starting corner, those are them.

2) Bigby is no Morgan Burnett. I said earlier after watching this kid at practice... He is a beast. Packer fans will be very surprised by this kid's performance. It's weird to call these guys kids now but seriously, I'm like 8 years older than him. Don't like that.

3) Our offense can make up for defensive miscues. We can out score these guys in shootouts. Defense can give up 21 points, we still got this.

Stay away from the panic button espn. The packers will be just fine. Then we'll have a starting probowl CB returning to the defense mid season and we will dominate. First game after those 6? Minnesota Vikings. By that time Favre will be hurt and the Vikings will implode. I predict a terrible season for minnesota this year.

Now I'd like to apologize to everyone for ruining the Packers season this year and sending the Vikings to the superbowl. Anyone who has read any of my sports predictions on this site know I am always embarrassingly wrong. So again, I apologize. Hopefully the packers can overcome my ignorance.

GO PACK!

Food Network

The food network needs to have a new reality show - "The next producers of the next food network star." Anyone fans of The next food network star? There's a lot to like, it's like a 2 month iron chef battle with an emphasis on personality. The only problem is the contestants that they pick SUCK! They're so bad... and they know absolutely nothing about food. I swear to god I could that show with an epicurious iPhone ap and my inherent ability to tell people exactly what they want to hear. "When you take that first bite, it brings me back to my childhood... back along the shores of lake michigan, sitting on a patio nest to the grill, watching my family sing songs about the past... insert some stupid joke..." CUSHMAN LOVES IT! Then the people who actually win these contests come up with the worst shows. They air them all on Sundays at like 6:00 AM. Then they force them to come onto the next season and tell the contestants how this show changed their lives...

They did another iron chef type battle on this show. In the midst of it Alton Brown was drilling them on food questions, they didn't know the answers to any of it. I knew all of them. Where do they find these people. The person that won was a food blogger? What the hell is that? I think I'm gonna become one of those. Here's my first review.

Never ever eat at Molly Cools. Went there after a brewer game and they had some Sunday night special where it's a 19 dollar lobster dinner. We look at the lobster on the menu and it says it comes with your choice of two sides. So me and Portage Mike order the thing. Over cooked, but that's besides the point. We get the bill and we were charged 30 something for the lobsters. I question the server and he goes, oh that special is just for the lobster only. You guys ordered the sides... Seriously? You couldn't of mentioned anything as we were ordering this? Then he goes, "I'll go talk to my manager and see what we can do." He goes to the manager, comes back and was pretty much like, sorry, you guys are SOL. So I just laughed and took the extra charge out of his tip and left. I never ever short tip waiters but this had to be the exception to the rule. Oh and Katie got some fresh blackened fish of the day thing. The fish was cut into some perfect rectangle, more seasoned, not blackened... tasted like crap. Don't go to Molly Cool's. Other restaurant allegiances forced no biases on this review. You think I'll get a Pinky's like reaction to this?

Well there we have it, my career as a food blogger has begun. Hopefully now you'll see me winning the next season of the Next food network star. Rock on. Brewers suck. Go pack!

The brewers are so bad

I don't know if anyone had the stomach to finish watching that game last night but oh my god. They suck SO MUCH! Bush throws 4 consecutive homerun balls. His comment after the game was something like, "I don't mind throwing homerun balls, that's how I pitch! LOTSA STRIKES!" How do we have pitchers on this team that suck this much. Towards the end of the game, prince got drilled yet again. This time we tried to retaliate! YES! Something exciting in this 8-2 crap hole of a game! Drill him! Pitcher thows the ball behind the batter, benches are warned, situation over. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFART!

Oh and during all this, we are in the middle of a 4-2 game -- still in it. Bases are loaded after Bush gives up something like 13 walks. We bring in Coffey to face the pitcher, pitcher smokes a double off him and clears the bases. Coffey what you think about that? "I made my pitch, got to tip your hat to the hitter." That means your best pitch can't get a pitcher out in a pivotal game deciding situation. CUT THEM ALL! How does someone give up 4 homeruns in a row, and then walk 3 batters in a row? What do you have to do to get removed from a baseball game? Macha sucks, Melvin sucks, pitchers suck, brewers suck.

Please Packers, give me something to cheer for this year. Don't do one of those good regular seasons and lose in the first round of the playoffs either. That sucks. I hate sports.